You can go back to court. Ontario's Family Law Rules let a judge respond to a breached order with costs, a fine, an order striking out the other party's documents or refusing them further relief, and, in serious cases, contempt. The Children's Law Reform Act also allows supervision, police enforcement where a child is being unlawfully withheld, and orders to prevent a child being taken out of Ontario.
What to do when a parenting order is not followed, step by step
Missed exchanges, late returns, refused phone calls and unilateral decisions are among the most common post-separation problems. The response should match the seriousness of the breach: a single late drop-off calls for a different response than a child being kept from the other parent for weeks. For an overview of parenting matters, see our custody and access (parenting) page.
- Re-read the order. Confirm exactly what it requires: times, exchange locations, holidays, communication, decision-making. Many disputes come from different readings of vague terms. Our page on decision-making responsibility and parenting time explains the terms.
- Document every breach. Keep a dated log, messages, and any third-party records (school, daycare, activity providers).
- Raise it in writing, calmly. A short, factual message proposing a fix often resolves it, and shows the court you tried.
- Consider mediation or a parenting coordinator if the order provides for one, or if both parents agree.
- Go back to court. Depending on the problem, a motion to enforce, a motion to change the order, or a contempt motion. In urgent situations, a motion can be heard before a case conference if the court finds urgency or hardship (Family Law Rules, r. 14(4.2)).
- In an emergency involving the child's safety or removal, act immediately. Police enforcement and anti-removal orders are available (Children's Law Reform Act, ss. 36 and 37).
The court's tools, from mild to severe
| Tool | What it does | Source |
|---|---|---|
| Costs | The breaching party pays some or all of the other party's legal costs | Family Law Rules, r. 1(8)(a) |
| Penalty or fine | An order to pay an amount to a party or into court | r. 1(8)(a.1) |
| Striking documents or refusing relief | Strikes out filed documents, or bars a party from further orders until the court says otherwise | r. 1(8)(c) and (e) |
| Varying the order | Changes the schedule or decision-making if there is a material change affecting the child's best interests | Children's Law Reform Act, s. 29 |
| Supervision | Directs supervision of parenting time or contact by a consenting person or body | s. 34 |
| Police enforcement | Directs police to locate, apprehend and deliver a child unlawfully withheld or about to be removed from Ontario | s. 36(2) |
| Anti-removal orders | Passports and travel documents delivered to the court, a bond, or property held by a trustee, to prevent removal or secure return | s. 37 |
| Contempt | Imprisonment, a fine and other orders for a person found in contempt | Family Law Rules, r. 31; Children's Law Reform Act, s. 38 (Ontario Court of Justice: fine up to $5,000, imprisonment up to 90 days) |
Contempt: the most serious step
Contempt is reserved for serious, deliberate breaches. Under rule 31 of the Family Law Rules, an order other than a payment order may be enforced by a contempt motion in the case where the order was made, even if another penalty is available (r. 31(1)). The notice of contempt motion (Form 31) must be served with a supporting affidavit by special service, unless the court orders otherwise (r. 31(2)). If a person is found in contempt, the court may order imprisonment on just terms, a fine, and other remedies (r. 31(5)). In the Ontario Court of Justice, the Children's Law Reform Act also allows a fine of up to $5,000 or imprisonment of up to 90 days, or both, for wilful contempt of its orders under that Act (s. 38(1)).
Because contempt can lead to imprisonment, it is a serious step that needs strong, clear evidence of the order and of the breach, and the court can issue a warrant to bring a person to court only in limited circumstances (r. 31(4)). In many cases, a motion to change the order or a costs award is a more effective first step.
When a child is being withheld or may be taken away
Section 36 gives the court strong powers. Where there are reasonable and probable grounds to believe a person is unlawfully withholding a child from someone entitled to decision-making responsibility, parenting time or contact, or that someone prohibited from removing the child from Ontario proposes to do so, or that a person with parenting time or contact proposes to remove the child and is not likely to return them, the court may direct a police service to locate, apprehend and deliver the child (s. 36(2)). The order can be made without notice if action is needed without delay (s. 36(3)), and expires no later than six months after it is made unless the court finds a longer period necessary (s. 36(7)).
To prevent removal or secure the return of a child, the court can also require passports and travel documents to be delivered, a bond to be posted, support payments to go to a trustee or, in the Superior Court, property to be transferred to a trustee (s. 37). For planned trips that may be at risk, see travelling with your child after separation. Planned moves follow their own notice rules; see moving with a child.
Building a record the court can use
Enforcement motions succeed or fail on evidence, and the strongest evidence is usually dull and consistent. A simple table with the date, what the order required, what happened, and any explanation given is easy for a judge to follow. Attach the messages that show the request and the response. Keep it factual: describe what happened rather than what you think the other parent intended.
A contempt motion has its own evidence rules. The supporting affidavit may include information learned from someone else only if the requirements for that kind of evidence are met (r. 31(3)), so first-hand evidence from the person who saw what happened is better. Third-party records, such as school sign-out sheets or daycare logs, are often the most persuasive.
Finally, show your own compliance. A parent who follows the order closely, offers reasonable flexibility and keeps the child out of the conflict is in a much stronger position when asking the court to act.
What changes the answer
- Safety. If a parent withholds a child because of a genuine safety concern, the right response is to seek an urgent order, not to breach the existing one. The court's primary consideration is the child's safety and well-being; see best interests of the child.
- Pattern versus one-off. Repeated breaches support stronger remedies and can justify varying the order (s. 29).
- The child's resistance. When an older child refuses to go, the child's views and each parent's support for the child's relationship with the other parent (s. 24(3)(c) and (e)) both become relevant; see whether a child gets a say.
- Grandparents and contact orders. Contact orders can be enforced and varied too; see grandparents and contact.
- Support is separate. Missed parenting time does not stop child support, and unpaid support is not a reason to withhold the child; see what happens if support is not paid.
A worked example
For example, imagine a Toronto order giving one parent alternate weekends with their seven-year-old, with exchanges at the child's school on Fridays. For three months, the other parent has repeatedly picked the child up early on Fridays and cancelled weekends at the last minute, citing minor illnesses.
The affected parent keeps a log with messages and school pickup records, writes a calm message proposing make-up weekends, and gets no response. They bring a motion asking the court to enforce the order, award make-up time and costs, and add terms such as requiring a doctor's note for illness-related cancellations. If the breaches continue after that, a motion to change the order, or in a serious case a contempt motion, may follow. This example is hypothetical.
Common mistakes when an order is breached
- Retaliating. Withholding the child in return, or stopping support, puts both parents in breach.
- Calling the police for every late exchange. Police enforcement under section 36 needs a court order; minor disputes are better handled through the court process.
- Not keeping records. Courts decide on evidence. A dated log and messages carry weight.
- Jumping straight to contempt. It is a serious step with a high bar; costs or a change to the order may work better.
- Involving the child. Asking the child to carry messages or explain the other parent's behaviour harms the child.
- Ignoring a vague order. If the order itself causes the conflict, ask the court to make it clearer.
What to do this week
- Start or update a log of each breach, with dates, times and what happened.
- Save the related messages and any school or daycare records.
- Send one calm, written message describing the problem and proposing a fix.
- Re-read the order for any dispute resolution clause.
- If the child's safety or removal from Ontario is at risk, seek legal help today.
- Book a free consultation with us to choose between enforcement, a change to the order, or contempt.
Frequently asked questions
Will the police enforce my parenting order?
The court can direct a police service to locate, apprehend and deliver a child in the situations listed in section 36(2), such as unlawful withholding or a planned removal from Ontario. Without such an order, the usual route for a disputed exchange is back to court.
Can I get make-up parenting time?
The court can make any order it considers necessary for a just determination when an order is not obeyed (r. 1(8)), and make-up time is a common request.
What if the breach happens in another province or country?
The Children's Law Reform Act has rules on extra-provincial orders and wrongful removal, and international cases may involve other procedures. Get advice quickly, as timing matters.
Where are enforcement motions heard in Toronto?
In the court that made the order. For orders of the Ontario Court of Justice, see the Ontario Court of Justice family courts in Toronto.
Can the other parent lose parenting time for breaching the order?
The court can vary an order where there has been a material change affecting the child's best interests (s. 29). Changes are made for the child's benefit, not as punishment, but a pattern of breaches can be relevant.
Does it matter that the order is only interim?
Interim orders must be followed like final ones, and the same tools apply when they are not.